I've always been impressed with people who have the dedication to keep journals that are hand written.  It's so much easier for me to type blurbs on the go via blackberry or email through

One thing I discovered yesterday is that there is no more accurate of a journal than your very own email, unless you're one of the types that likes to delete everything.  I've kept a good portion of my emails over the past years, 6.5 out of 7.4 gigs worth of emails to be exact.  Some rendered useless but others really translated my growth in many aspects over the past years.

Here is a short excerpt from an in class essay I wrote right after high school about my anticipations about graduating.  One thing for certain, I haven't lost my tenacity for accomplishment.   On that note, my grammar was pretty clutter#ucked.

“Whenever one door closes, another one always opens!”   Our teacher spoke this cliché to help us feel better about closing one chapter in our life and moving on to reopening another.  Graduation, supposedly the stepping stone to better things, but I saw it as an ending to care-free days and the beginning of responsibilities and fearing getting old.

I remember waking up graduation morning to an obnoxious alarm clock, buzzing at 6am, reminding me that today was the last day that I would wake and attend four class periods, have lunch in the courtyard, and spend afternoons staring out into the sunny halls of my school.  In my head I knew that life after High School was much more liberating and exciting, but a part of me just wanted to hang out in the canyon with my friends and have senior ditch day one more time.  I peeled myself from my bed while trying to drown out the sounds of my mom yelling while she was making breakfast.  Staring at the mirror in the bathroom, all I could think was, in just a split second I’m going to be a high school graduate, looking for a job, cramming crazy hours for college and wake up 25 feeling old.

The remaining hours of my morning were a blur filled with rushing into a car, speeding down the freeway, fighting traffic into downtown and looking for parking.  It wasn’t until I was standing in the fourth row from the stage, looking at the crowds of proud and supportive faces, and hearing my name being called, that I had a clear moment, without fear or doubt of any kind.  I promptly rushed to the stage, reminded myself which hand to accept the diploma with and which to shake the principal’s hand with, and looked into the crowd seeing mouths moving but not hearing a single hint of sound.  Walking off that stage is still one of the most liberating moments I’ve had.  Unsure if anyone was even supportive to cheer for me, friends or family, and blind to any camera flashes that may have shot my way, the only thought in my head was that I was going to walk away from this moment and be something great in my life.  

It’s safe to say that almost every high school graduate feels they will accomplish great things and impact the world somehow, but I can vouch that my feeling was different and more certain, if anything else because when I sit and think back to that moment, I still feel the same way today.  After the graduation ceremony, I walked through the crowds trying to find my family and participated in the whole picture taking process.  Moving through deep pockets of people, cheering, laughing, crying while saying goodbye, I smiled and told my parents “let’s go”.  Walking away from high school, leaving those days, people and moments behind, I was ready for the world and hoping it was ready for me.