To stumble and fall

So here we are nearing the end of another week, bringing us further into 2009. I know I usually post writings with unfathomable ambitions, but the truth to every aspiration is that there are times where we look at the hands we're given and must decide on a course of action. I'm unsure what the exact number is, but it is said that the Todd Mcfarlane was rejected about 350 times before succeeding. Seeing that success is possible even after mounds of rejection, honestly doesn't make stumbles feel any better. So I wanted to write one for those of us that have hit that hiccup somewhere along the line.

The truth is, I began this year with a mountain of maybes, and visualizations of epic accomplishments. Now this isn't to say I'm not a realistic person in my work and personal ventures, because I do anticipate an uphill battle for almost anything worth having. But today, as someone put it, I realized I was burning the candle at both ends and had to make changes. I've said before in the past that my life is a constant juggle of hats, and it's nearly impossible to keep one from affecting the other. So time came where I had to remove one of those hats. Nothing major, just reducing the load of classes by one class, but it's deafening to hear myself say I couldn't do it all. My business and personal practices typically fall along the line of "take no prisoners", whether that be by no sleep, upping efficiency, or multi-tasking to the max, I would plow down the trees if I couldn't see the forest through them. So with this in mind, you can imagine the actualization that perhaps a tonne of classes packed into a quarter, just so I can graduate sooner, not being a good idea, kind of stung. In fact feeling "stung" is an understatement.

There is no doubt that my life's priorities are set as follows, professional, academic, business cultivation, then personal. This ladder means that I allow no room for my professional life to be affected by the others, so something in my academic schedule had to give. The truth is I like it this way. I'm very fortunate and love my career path and where everything is heading. This arduous path is put me in a place where I love what I do, school is the backing to it, and my personal life exists when everything else is balanced and operating in a functional matter. With my own success, I want my band's success so we are all prepared to make the necessary sacrifices for that common goal.

I wrote to a friend today, who took a chance in her major to embark upon what she wanted to do, not necessarily what would be the "smart" or "lucrative" investment to begin with, and said that people, friends, family may not always understand the "why" behind decisions and paths taken, but what matter is that we remain conscious of the decisions we make and pursue them.

I think through much of this I've already anticipated and accepted that there will those that don't understand, feel that I'm absolutely consumed or even a little neurotic. The truth is, I'm passionate about my band's music, about my work, about my art, about myself, and about how things have panned out, and I'm grateful for those that want to support and see me succeed.

We're not all well oiled functioning machines, even Warren Buffet has his hiccups at times. I'm planning on working on a tighter time management system where I can have time to sit and enjoy the scene more, but still be able to remain a shark in the waters. Today this shark realized while hunting in the waters that sometimes we gotta let that one little fish go, to get the bigger fish in the end. It's ok I'll find it and eat it later!

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