Working it and Finding Sun Amidst the Rain


The old saying goes," where there is a will, there is a way".  If this is the case, I have an indestructible iron will. 

Usually when you can see the "light at the end of the tunnel" there's cliches that make the assumption that any final efforts towards a goal will be "smooth sailing."  For me and i'm sure for you as well, this is never the case.  My last two quarters here at UCSD involved a web of red tape, conflicting schedules and a question as to how I was going to do it all.  By do it, I mean take 20 units, make it between two desperately needed classes that overlap, and somehow continue to make a living with my ridiculous schedule.  This is life, this is living and I do love it.  Even in moments of stress I look to epic stories of others and how certain individuals overcame monumental adversaries in their life.  I'm then humbled and reminded that my obstacles aren't so bad after all.

As I sit here in the dark multi-tasking between writing down thoughts that i'm inspired to express, and watching a film about boy's adventure from oppression to hope, I'm grateful and pleasantly surprised that the chaos of "how and will I make it work" has delivered plenty of blessings in disguise.

For the first time in my Academic career here in UCSD, my insane schedule and overload of 20 units in a 2 1/2 month period, all my classes and lectures are inspiring and offer to truly teach me things I've been dying to learn.  From conceptual to "make something aesthetically dynamic", instead of just "go make a film" it's "try this technical process of film making, and see what develops" and most importantly for the first time instead of "I can't wait to graduate" I'm left with this bittersweet feeling of "I can't believe there's only 2 months left."

I've always known my worth and the epic things I'm capable of, but like anyone,  for a short duration there, I fell into a comfort and fear of failure.  As I sit and refresh my portfolio and almost "tally up" my achievements, I've rekindled this fire in the eyes that have me once again wanting to take over the world.  At least "my world".

So don't let talks of the economy and fearful outcomes to risk taking bring you down.  Know that someway somehow, we have to survive and there is a life to be lived, so live it, and though capitalism or corporate America is structured so that hardly anyone receives what they're worth, no one will know your worth unless you do.


and to my dear friend the great shono, thank you for many years pulling me out of moments of self doubt, fear and always providing encourgement.  You're a rockstar!

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