There are moments in life where you find yourself dead stop in front of a representational mirror, which makes you quickly see every decision you've ever made that led you up to that point, staring at that reflection.
I had that sort of moment yesterday. As I was leaving the bank and pulling out of an alley way, a Lamborghini Murcielago was pulling out at the exact moment. As we parked at this awkward intersection waiting to turn, I was sitting in my 99 Jeep, that has recently been broken in to, and has had more issues than I care to list.
As a disclaimer, I'm not a fan of a the Lambo and if I were able to get a play car it would be a 67 Mustang Fastback. The mirror that faced me at that moment had nothing to do the gaudy car in front of me or the rattling one I was in, it was what these two contrasting things represented at the crossroads, in that moment. For a span of 10 seconds, I started thinking if I could have done anything else in life, or made different decisions that would have made me more successful. I then started questioning this term "success", I won't deny that financial well being adds an immense comfort in life, but at what point do we become the cliche of being defined by material possessions?
The funny thing is I rarely live in regret and generally take everything for the experience or lesson to be learned. But for this moment I was looking at an opposing mirror image and assumed that what I was seeing was what I didn't have. That's the funny thing about impressions is that though they can be entirely wrong, we base many of our aspirations, decisions and standards on them.
The evaluations of what I "have" flew through my mind which contained a list of amazing clients I've had the opportunity to work with and meet, a stellar resume, an extensive list of experiences and quite a few talents. Despite the positive reinforcements in my list, I started wondering if any of those things would lead to a future of financial security. That's the thing with entrepreneurial ambitions, you always have that risk of epic failure. Though I don't think any possibility of doom would have led me into doing something I didn't want to do, or didn't love.
With constant reminders surrounding me about a bad economy, rising unemployment rate and a tough market, I look at many of the ventures I have and will continue to take upon to build my experience list and wonder if it will provide me with enough ammo to blow through possible oncoming struggles.
I do know one thing, I have and will always be a shark. Despite moments of question, I'm one of the few people that actually love what I do, so I guess that means that I'll never work a day in my life. :P