I postponed writing this after game response to today in hopes that things would feel a bit clearer, less daunting and simply not so bad.  As I'm writing this, I'm listening to Float on by Ben Lee trying to imagine that somehow some way we'll all be ok, that our team, our city will float on and that like how most think "there's always next season." Unfortunately deep down, I don't believe that.  Not entirely and especially not today.  I think the morning after your team losing in the playoffs can be compared to the morning after losing your favorite pet or breaking up with your long term significant other, there's a feeling of loss, emptiness and just sadness.

Finally leaving the parking lot yesterday in traffic and listening to the post-game show on rock 105.3, the gloomy and angry feeling was mutally being experienced everywhere, all while Jets fans were celebrating and screaming their ridiculous "J E T S, JETS JETS JETS chant."

The sights, energy and even scenery was a world of difference when we first got to Qualcomm stadium.  The sun was shining, people were ready for their team to produce a win, and the stadium was a ROAR!  I can't describe to you how much energy was in that stadium yesterday but I can say rumbles and voices were probably heard throughout the ends of the city.  As the game progressed through each quarter the skies mimicked what was progressing in that stadium, which was impending doom.  As the clouds moved in, penalty flags were flying towards us, field goals were being missed, and as a team we collectively sealed our loss.

One of the reasons why last night was such a tough pill to swallow is because I love Nate Kaeding, I mean I adore him like how I adored Dan Marino when I started watching him play for the Dolphins as a kid.  No rhyme or reason, just the love for who I felt and knew was going to be a great player!  Watching Nate choke last night was like if I saw Dan Marino stab a dolphin.. ok maybe not that bad, but bad enough.  I wanted Nate Kaeding's jersey when everyone else wanted only LT's or Merriman's.  I used to run around saying, HEY when we sucked during <insert season> it was NATE KAEDING who got us points!! The worst part is after the game people kept saying horrible things like "he probably got paid to miss those field goals."  I can see why.. I mean how does a guy who makes 50+ yard field goals effortlessly, miss a 28 yard attempt?

As the game came to a close and the rain started falling, I sat staring at the empty field and the scoreboard fighting back tears.  I don't think it fully hit me what had happened until this morning.  Again for you not sportsfans, you'll probably fine this trivial and that case nothing I explain to you will make you understand how this sport or any sport makes and breaks people every season.

It's not JUST football, some of us just love it!  I fear for what next season is going to be like, who will be on our roster but more so, the hardest thing to accept is that for us, this season is over and football season will soon follow.

Playoffs time is so bittersweet for me because despite the excitement and anxiety building up to the superbowl, it also means that football season is coming to a close and my Sundays will soon again feel lost without it.

Here's some more pictures I took from the game, along with my commentary.

Yours truly, happy, hopeful and excited just before the game.  I'm wearing my #43 Jersey, Sproles, my main man.

Walking into the game and seeing Channel 8 News.  Newscasters like this guy always rub me the wrong way, they always seem so fake, impersonal and douche like.

Catherine McPhee opening the game w/ the national anthem.

Quite the moving moment, the Chargers praying for a win.  To find praying does not compensate for discipline and bringing an A game.

As the game progressed, the cheer and smiles from the Charger Girls did not make me happier, I was just getting more upset.

One of only 2 touchdowns.

The crowd, energy and stadium was just erupting in cheer!

Darren Sproles still my main man, I love the guys w/ the great stories who do great things.  BC sometimes being one of the shortest players in the NFL, having a speech impediment or being the 130th draft pick and starting as a 3rd stringer doesn't mean a thing. :D

LT - 12 carries totaling 24 yards.  Sigh.

Norv Turner, so many times, so many games on a 4th and short I wish he would do what Jim Caldwell (coach for colts) does, which is TAKE RISKS.

I wonder what Rivers and Norv were saying to eachother.
picture, but I was absolutely devastated.

There you have it, like every other playoff season choke, we'll survive this but for now it's just a bitter pill to swallow.  Cheers folks.

\ Via "on the go"